Shouldn't that give me some sort of closure? Wouldn't you think that?

With the lack of the depth of thought and words, I feel quite empty.

It isn't the sort of emptiness that pain, love, joy, contentment gives.

It's just a hollow emptiness. . . .

I'm trying to make amends with the people I care about. Try to keep in touch with them because I'm selfish and lonely.

I don't expect them to forgive me because that is quite impossible.

No matter what I do or say I still manage to destroy these joys.

Just the bastard in me coming out of his hole in the wall.

Deformed by hatred and bitterness.

This is why I am a horrible human being.

. . . Boo hoo . . .