Why have you "allowed" me access to your soul?

I can't be trusted with my own, let alone yours. There are so many things that you need to tell me, but what do the sounds that vibrate out of your mouth mean? Are you ham-stringing me or are you sincere? I may be paranoid, but I'm a survivor. My soul is in tatters, and my heart is weak.

But, I still wish for a release of this shell. Maybe, not wish, but yearn for the knowledge to continue. The knowledge to know that this is not all in vain and that my life, or anyone else's, means something . . . means everything.

But what is "this"? What is existence? I say that we all are individuals that affect each others existences, but people you can't see or know about don't affect your existence at all. It's like the "Out of sight, out of mind" philosophy but at a cosmic level. You can't see "God" so he can't affect you.

Why does this matter? My thought isn't shared will others. Why should I thrash against the stream of Time? Why not go silently into that good night? It's why I'm an insomniac. I can't just accept this. I will not accept the tyranny and injustice. I will not accept the hatred and unsubstantiated anger. I will not accept this life.

And I will trash into that good night. I will resist until it kills me or I kill it.

Having a duel with Death is not as exciting as you many think.