Just lying there listening to the frequent clicks after you left. When the dial tone blazed in my ear, my blank stare at the wall broke, but I still thought.

�I want you to be able to tell me anything�

"If you would like to make a call..."

...I want you to know I'm there for you...

"Please, hang up and try again..."

...I want you to trust me like you say you do...

"If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator."

...

Just staring blankly at the white wall, as the phone screams at me to hang it up.

...I don't want to go yet...

Clicking the phone off, I curled up once again and cursed myself for being born in the wrong place and, for the five-hundredth time, cursing myself for not dying when I should have.